The problem with regrets is that we think they are founded on decisions we made at some point in the past. Decisions that, hopefully, would have made sense at the time but have left a gaping hole in our lives now. One day we realize that we cannot go back and change the past (at least not easily) so what we are left with is the frustration of trying to deal this big hole in our life. We could be feeling restless or unfulfilled or unchallenged or unneeded or (fill in your own brand of “un….”) right now – and this can be a really good thing.
Because as every deliberate creator knows, we can change how we are feeling right now. We can always reach for a better feeling thought.
When we look at our regrets from the point of view of what they are telling us about our present life, we can use these regrets to make our life better. For example, regrets can pinpoint which of our core values are not being respected and supported, or where our passions have been left to wither. Knowing this gives us an entry point or a point of focus so we can begin making changes to our lives. Changes that replace the feelings of regret with more positive feelings and better feeling thoughts.
As for the author of the article mentioned above, lets assume that the regret she is currently feeling (the one she believes was caused by making the choice to raise her children over creating her career) indicates that one of her core values, lets say the core value of accomplishment, is no longer being fulfilled. Her children are all grown up now and do not need her guidance any longer. If she could bring the feeling of accomplishment back into her life, would she be regretting her original decision of home over career?
When we make decisions based on our dreams and on what makes us feel good (and not based on trying to fulfill someone else’s dreams or make someone else feel good) and when we live a life that honours our core values, is it even possible to have regrets??
What are your regrets trying to tell you? What gift of insight and wisdom are they trying to share with you?