Dropping Assumptions


written by Anne Bolender

From the moment we are born, our ‘reality’ is built on a rocky foundation of assumptions. As we grow up, these assumptions create the patterns, the roles, and the relationships that become the reality of our lives, our understanding of who we are and how we are expected to behave. These assumptions can involve anything from how we define being female or male; how we see our roles of being a wife, a father, a daughter, a friend, an employee, the ‘breadwinner’; how we approach taking risk, becoming an entrepreneur, being creative, being a student……But no matter how strongly we believe in the truth behind these assumptions, they are just assumptions.

There was a time in our not too distant past when many of the assumptions we current cling to did, in fact, serve us fairly well. But that was when our lives were lived in relative stability. One life generally had one career, one spouse, one house, one family, and a strong community of support. Today, very few lives are lived in relative stability. Today, our new reality is one of constant change, chaos, potential and possibility, yet the assumptions created during that era of stability remain mostly unchallenged.

In order to dissolve these assumptions of self and gain clarity of self we need to become aware of our assumptions, which can be relatively easy to do. Basically, anytime you believe something to be absolutely true, ask yourself how you know that to be true. You might be surprised to discover how much of what you believe to be true is actually based on assumptions that our parents handed down to us from their parents, and their parents before them. Or on assumptions that have been so widely accepted by society that no one even thinks to challenge them any more, like how to do business, or how to create you own career path.

Quantum physics is even showing us how shaky our grasp on what was once believed to be scientific truths really is. We can no longer even trust our assumptions on what a scientific truth is any more.

For deliberate creators assumptions present an interesting challenge. For us, no matter how hard we try or how strong an intention we set, trying to manifest major magic while holding onto out of date or incorrect assumptions about ourself and our environment can be a self-defeating exercise in futility. How can anyone really explore and discover what they are fully capable of if they begin their adventure with strict boundaries already in place?

Clarity of Self occurs when you unhook from the assumptions of who you should be and how you should be living your life, and connect deeply with who you really are – your core values.

Your core values identify your essential self – the YOU who you were meant to be. The YOU who is a unique, creative, powerful individual. Knowing and honouring your core values gives you a strong foundation on which to build your life, to create a successful business, to find an awesome job, to find your ideal partner, and to break free from all kinds of assumptions that keep most people firmly fixed in uncertainty.

What assumptions are you carrying with you that no longer serve you, or worse, that conflict with your core values and with who you really are?

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