Written by: Anne Bolender
Behind everything that you desire and want in life is the desire to be happy.
Regardless of what you think you want, whether you desire to have more money, to travel, to have a job, to have a fulfilling career, to lose weight, to find your soul-mate, to find your passion and purpose in life – behind all of these desires, these goals, these New Year’s Resolutions, is the basic desire to be happy. Why else would we want these things?
If we were happy with the life we had, would we be constantly searching for and dreaming of something different?
Test it for yourself. If money were no object, and you could have one thing come to you without any effort or struggle, what would that one thing be? Do you have an image of what that one thing would be? Good! Now, why do you want that “thing”? Not the superficial reason for wanting it, look deeper…Why do you really want that “thing” you named above.
Most, if not all, people eventually realise that we really don’t want that “thing”, what we truly want is to bring more joy and happiness into our lives. We believe that the ‘things’ we desire would give us that joy and happiness. We have been taught, from the time we are born, that happiness comes as things we buy and own. Commercials for most products don’t sell the product, they sell the happiness that the product is supposed to bring into our life.
So we wait to be happy until we lose the weight, or can afford the car, or their soul-mate magically appears.
Have you ever said to yourself “When I have ………….. then I will ………….” ? When I have lost the weight, then I will travel! When I have my perfect partner, then I will go on adventures. When I have my beautiful home, then I will have parties. When I have paid off all of my debts, then I will create the career of my dreams.” In the meantime, life goes on and
The great thing about joy and happiness is (are you ready for it 🙂 you don’t have to wait until you have that ‘thing you desire’ in order to feel joyful or happy NOW!!
The happier you are now, the higher your vibration. The higher your vibration, the more you attract happiness and joy into your life. This creates a positive spiral that continues to attract more and better ‘things’ into your life.
Esther Hicks shares hers and Abraham’s thoughts on Getting Happy in the very short, very powerful (and funny) video below:
Getting Happy does not mean ignoring our other emotions, including our most negative emotions.
Our other emotions, including anger, fear, jealousy, envy, grief, sadness, are as much a part of us as joy and happiness are and should have an honoured and respected place in our life. What “Getting Happy” teaches us is to honour our other emotions as we feel them, then let them go.
Where we run into trouble is when we create stories around why we are feeling anger, fear, jealousy, envy, grief, sadness, that keep us locked in that emotion far longer than we need to be.
Byron Katie refers to these prolonged experiences of emotions as “Dirty Pain”. “Clean Pain” is the emotion we feel as the act is happening – we are betrayed by a lover, or get bitten by a big dog when we are young, or are teased by our classmates, or fail an exam – we experience the anger or fear or other emotion when the event happens, then let it go. “Dirty Pain” is when we create a story around what happened that places us as the victim and recreates the negative emotion for us. The more we retell the story, the more we hold on to the feeling of anger or fear or shame. Even though the act has long since passed (sometimes years ago), the negative emotion lives on in us through the stories we tell our self about the act and our role as victim.
When we experience our emotions cleanly, without the stories that trap us in the negative emotion, we return to our natural emotional balance of being happy fairly quickly. Even then, the expectation is not that anyone is going to go from feeling sad or depressed to feeling joyous in one quick step. The trick is to work your way back to feeling happy by finding the thought that feels better than the one’s you have just been experiencing and to work your way gradually back to feeling happy. Not to get stuck in the negative emotion, but to constantly look for the better feeling thought.
For most of us, the experience of feeling happy is one we can start to work on right now, this very minute. We don’t need to wait for anything in order to begin feeling better and working our way towards feeling happy.
Some easy techniques that can help you feel happy now include:
- watching a really good movie. Comedies are great for this, but any movie where you love the ending and end up feeling inspired is a great choice;
- listening to music. There are so many great songs and pieces of music that can inspire you, or lift your spirits. I recently created a playlist of songs that make me feel happy when I listen to them and plug in to this playlist every time I need an emotional boost.
- listening to a recording of a baby laughing. There are hundreds of videos on Facebook and YouTube of babies laughing. There are some of these videos where it is extremely difficult not to laugh when you watch them.
- go for a walk. Spending even a small amount of time outside can lift a bad mood.
- find an activity that you like doing, and do it. If you like being with animals, find a way to be with animals. If you like to paint, or sing, or dance, or take pictures, then paint, sing, dance, photograph.
- if you love doing an activity, but for whatever reason cannot start doing it right away, then create an As If/Pray Rain Journal and write about what it will be like when you are actually doing the activity you love. Your brain cannot tell the difference between reality and a strongly felt thought.
This brings to an end my series on Manifesting a Magical 2014. I hope you enjoyed it, and found one or two bits of information that will help you manifest some magic for yourself in 2014,
For me, 2014 is going to bring greater clarity and more focus on upping my manifesting skills.
My themes for 2014 are: expansion, abundance, creativity. These will be the focus of my posts for the coming year.
For now, I would like to wish you all a Happy New Year!!
Imagine using Deliberately Intention techniques to create some amazing awesome in your life??! Anne Bolender is a Deliberate Intention, Clarity Coach focused on helping people awesomize their lives from the inside out. My monthly newsletter is loaded with Deliberate Intention and Gaining Clarity tips and techniques. You can click here to sign up to receive a copy of my monthly newsletter or email me at email@example.com for information on how I can help you!! Lets do this!!